Belonging

Troy: I do remember during orientation week, in addition to all the fun social activities, there were different sessions on how to take notes. There was tours of campus because again, although I went to a large high school all in one building, this was the first time we’d have to go to this building for a Math class, this building for an English class. So I can remember having my schedule and walking like okay, “Monday is going to be class and trying to figure out…Oh my god, there is only ten minutes between classes, how are you going to get there?” And then I remember writing English 110 on a notebook and folder to be all prepared. And then going those first days, your English class was small, it was only like 25 students. And I had Dr. [Thomas] Pribek for that, still see him on campus every once in a while. And then I also had some larger classes, that I can’t remember if it was first semester or not, but like Psychology was in the [Graff] Main Hall auditorium so that was a large class. I remember having Pre-Calc[ulus] and that was in Cowley [Hall], and my least favorite class ever, but had a good teacher. But just thinking about how you sat in class and you just took notes, you took notes, and you were lucky if you had a faculty who wrote on the chalk boards. There weren’t powerpoints slides, there weren’t online notes that were distributed. It was your responsibility to sit in class, feverishly writing in your notebook because you had some faculty who didn’t take a breath for 55 minutes... I can also remember, I don’t know if this was my first semester or if it was my second semester, I had Dr. [James] Parker for history. And it was in the big lecture room in Wimberly [Hall]. And class started, I think it was a Tuesday Thursday class so maybe like at 8:45 or 9:15, no at 8 o’clock—that was it. He came walking down, and if you know Jim Parker, he looks like a cross between the Marlboro man and Robert Redford. And he comes down, he plops down on the front desk, lights a cigarette, takes a huge drag, blows out the smoke, and says “where the fuck should we start?” And I’m like going, “oh my god, this is college, a professor just swore, said the F-bomb in class!” And I’m like going “oh boy, this will be a trip of a class!” And maybe we will get to this later on in the interview, but I just remember how profound that experience was to say, “hey, this isn’t high school. This is something completely different”… And I think that was maybe, you know, just that reality of like you’re not gonna have a teacher that—you don’t do daily homework. I mean there was homework assigned, especially for math class, you didn’t turn it in, it wasn't graded, you were only, only, graded on your exams... Probably students today can still relate to this is that first day when the faculty goes over the syllabus and you sit there and you go “holy hell, how am I going to get done all of this in a semester? I have four other classes. I just don’t have this one.” And I remember being very overwhelmed at that point. And then you get into the semester, and you go “okay,” you figure it out, but I think learning…well, understanding that so much of the learning was your responsibility and no longer the instructor or teacher's

Karolyn: Well in my household there was always kinda this expectation that we would. Although, as a first gen[eration], nobody really understood what that meant. But that's just what people did—you went to college. And that’s what other kids were doing at my high school. So, my decision to go, I didn’t really question it until I had a guidance counselor in high school who told me they didn’t think I was college material, and that is what really kicked me into “I was going to prove her wrong.” So, there was never a doubt that I wouldn’t go, but then my confidence was shaken a bit. But I had a cousin who came to UWL—and I idolized two of my older cousins—and so I didn’t even think to apply anywhere but La Crosse. And part of that, it was close to home and, it was just where my family—like if you were my generation you looked at La Crosse, that’s where you went. So, that’s kind of it. There wasn’t a whole lot of thought process into it. So UWL accepted me and off I was, off I was going to La Crosse, to figure it out.

Tiffany: So, let's talk about that process of what you remember about arriving here. So you’re arriving Fall of 1993. What do you remember about your first day and your first weekend on campus?

Karolyn: Well it—because it was so long ago I struggle to remember parts of it—but I remember the feeling of it more than anything, that excitement and then pure terror all at the same time. Partially because I didn’t know what to expect and my parents didn’t know how to prepare me… You know, I’ll say it probably a lot throughout this, but I had a little bit of imposter syndrome like I thought somebody was going to figure out I shouldn’t be there, that I wasn’t going to be able to cut it. And so, that initial excitement was I couldn’t wait to live on my own and meet my roommate who was from the Twin Cities. She was a city girl, and here I was a small-town kid. And so I remember just the excitement of all the hustle and bustle of people, you know families moving into the halls. We parked in the lot across from Drake Hall which is now the Rec[reation] Center and started hauling our stuff up to the third floor of Drake Hall. And, you know my dad was there with the lumber to build the bunks and hoping my roommate came with her stuff, and thinking I was the coolest thing on the planet because I was a college student. [Trimmer laughs]

Tiffany: Tell me what you remember about your first day or your first week of classes. What was your…what’s your memory of like the introduction to college classes?

Karolyn: Well, I think this, plays into my family history a bit, because, my parents worked to pay the bills—they didn’t have careers. And it just so happened my mom’s job was doing payroll at a hospital. And so my career decisions—or my major—was selected based on making a lot of money. And so I came to UWL as a Nuclear Med[icine] Tech[nology] major. It is so far from any ability that I have in the sciences, but that’s what my family thought I should do. So I was in Biology and Math, and I just remember that they were not my strong suits, and I thought “this is it, I’m not going to make it.” And I always kind of had a love for Political Science and Government and so I remember taking that—it was a Wednesday night class—three-hour class for Poli Sci 101. And I sat there thinking “okay, I really like this, this has like relaxed me compared to the other classes.” But, it was a long class and so then I thought, “I don’t know if this is what I can do either.” So, there was a lot of uncertainty and doubt in myself. I don’t remember the faculty in particular. Like I think they were great, but I was just so terrified that my confidence was shaken, that I didn’t love it. I just remember thinking, “they’re going to send me home. They're gonna call my parents and my parents are gonna have to come pick me up because they're going to say ‘she shouldn’t be here to begin with’.” So that first semester was rough, I didn’t do well academically. I joke that it was a gift that they let me come back the second semester. But that’s when I finally was able to [Bald sighs] find, I think, find it in myself that it was okay to say “this wasn’t the major for me.” Because you have the expectations built up and you’re telling everyone at home, “I’m gonna be a Nuclear Med[icine] Tech[nician]” and then, then you feel like you have to stay with it and commit to it because you’re gonna turn—you know upset people. And, it took me a few semesters to realize nobody—everyone just wants me to be happy and to find something that I love so. There was a lot of my own expectations put on myself at that time too that were very unrealistic.

Karolyn: Well, if you were to look from the outside it doesn’t look any different 30 years later [laughter] and I’m sure it didn’t back then either from being open 30 years prior to that. But you know it was just such your stereotypical residence hall kind of experience. That cement, you know the tile floor, you know it was a cold floor. We all brought rugs in. We lofted our beds. It was hot, there was no air conditioning, and everyone had fans propped up everywhere. But it didn’t matter. I mean it was just such an excitement for us all to be independent and on our own at the time. Most of the students—I mean Drake [Hall] was a little bit mixed it wasn’t all underclass—I mean it wasn’t all first-year students so we had some upperclassmen too—which I think, I think it was good. It forced us to like, think outside of that first-year kind of experience. But I mean my best friends still to this day are from Drake Hall. My friend Dana lived on the third floor. Sarah and Missy were on the first floor. And you always had your door open because, well, I was so social, I just wanted to talk all the time which was probably part of my struggles. And then you had…like the bathrooms. I mean we all have to shower in the same space and wear flip flops and those green tiles or yellow-tiled floors. And those curtains that if you’d touch they’d stick to you, it was so gross, but we loved it. It was home. And, it was not a commuter campus, I mean students stayed around on the weekends. And, but what I did notice are those students—and I started to fall into this a little bit because I was struggling a little bit but not wanting to admit it to people. But it’s easy to want to go home, and to like slip back into what’s comfortable. And so, I remember there were some days where I was like “I just need to go home, I need my mom to come get me.” And I remember calling her and she’s like “I’ll come to you.” And she took me to get my clothes washed, or she took me to the grocery store, but then she made me go back. And I’m not sure that—had she let me come home, I probably would have wanted just to move home. Because I’d seen some of my classmates from high school who, you know thought like it was too expensive and “why would you live on campus?” that it, because they weren’t able to connect with other people, never really figured out a way to develop community, and many of them ended up dropping out. I give so much credit to my parents because they didn’t know what they were doing, but they knew what I needed when I didn’t. So, my parents knew that they had to push me a little bit. And because of that, that second semester is when I really started to turn it around because they had forced me to create friends and find community and, figure out, who I was cause you know it’s such a change in your identity and you finally get to be who you want to be. You know that feeling like in high school, you’ve been together forever and everyone knows everything about everyone, and all of a sudden, I could be who I wanted to be and not be lumped in, or in the clique or whatever so, I just. I’m very lucky I had great parents. I do, I have great parents. [Trimmer laughs]

Tiffany: That’s awesome.

Alex: Yes, I definitely have memories of talking to other people that we're in the same class as me, and asking, “are you going through the same hardships that I am? Are you trying to figure out these same things that I'm trying to figure out in this Economics class that I had never really done before.” Or, I remember joining the Residence Hall Association Council—which I don't know if it is still there on campus—but that's where I kind of developed a core group of people that I was able to kind of figure out my first year with, which was good. So, I always suggest to people get involved right away, find something that you think you might be interested in because that's a good way to meet new people—and you know, if you don't like it that's fine—but just try to find a group of people that you might want to invest in friendships with. So, and that was helpful when we were able to talk through some of the harder parts of being on the new campus and experiencing new things.

Alex: I mean I would always suggest students getting involved in policy-making and decision-making on their campus. I think that kind of from my position now looking back, I think that the more students are engaged in what's happening on their campus and things on the outside that are impacting their campus, the better opportunities they will have for resources to come to their campus. What I mean by this is, you know, being involved in those discussions about at the state level about, you know, what's happening with your tuition. And you know how you know how your UW system is funded. And you know why it's important that it's properly funded year after year, and not, you know, kind of, you know, staggered along. And I think in my student government experience I learned about a lot about student segregated fees and how those impact campus resources, and I learned a lot about student lobbying or student advocacy. We went to the [UW System] Board of Regents to advocate for certain policy changes and I’d encourage students to continue to do that. I don't think I ever came to the [Wisconsin] State Capital, but as a legislator now I'm seeing many students come to me and tell them their firsthand experience. I would encourage people to continue to talk, not only with their legislators, because I know sometimes Madison is a little far away. Email them. Call them. But, also their local officials. I mean the city of La Crosse has a big impact on what campus is able to do in the policies set there and that's something that I tried to get involved in my senior year with those parking things that we were speaking about. And, you know, really just staying connected with the community that they live in because, you know, it's not just temporary for students like it was four years of my life. That was four years that I lived in a different community, and that, you know, now I look back on it and think of it as a second home to me. So, and I really care about the success of La Crosse as a community now in my policy-making position here. So it's kinda how I connect those two things.

Katy: Yeah. I met my best friend—it'll be 5 years now this fall…We bonded over loving [19]80s music. So you'll find them [new friends] if you go out and do things—especially the events that they always have during like Orientation Week. That first weekend that you get there—go to stuff, go to the things because everyone else is gonna go. And you're just—first of all, they're fun, and there's usually a bunch of free stuff. So why not? But also you're going to meet people and like you might meet a ton of people, and you're like, “mm, I don’t really, like vibe with them” or “I don't really like how they were, like, talking” or whatever. But, I mean, it can take a while, sometimes…In my experience, you know I did find my best friend right away pretty much. But the future lifelong friends that I made didn't come for two more years. So sometimes it takes a while, but eventually you will find them once you get into your groove, and, like you find—you join—the clubs that you're passionate about. That's [an] especially good way to do it, too, because you at least have a common interest with everyone that's in that club. So that's a good way to do it… and it will come. You'll find them [new friends].

Troy: Yes. It was interesting, ‘cause my dad was head of purchasing at Mayo [Clinic]. And I came over to UWL for Business. [I] had taken several business classes in high school, had a Business teacher that had included me in some activities of going to shareholders meetings. In the summer before I went to UWL, I got to go to St. Olaf College for a week-long [it was] called business venture. And it was corporate people from the Twin Cities and all over, and we kind of ran our own little businesses. Maybe kind of something like a Junior Achievement, but I remember doing that. And I always kind of thought because of the business classes that I took in high school, that Business was for me. Also, this was also the early [19]80s where there was a lot of greed and money was so important. And I remember looking through the little brochure that UWL had, and they had like starting salaries in the CBA (College of Business), and one of the highest ones was Accounting. So, I thought “oh, I really like my Accounting classes. I’m good at Math. I’m gonna do this.” So, I had always come to La Crosse thinking that I would probably only be here two years. And I wanted to go to a big Business school. So, during my sophomore year, I started applying to big Business programs. I applied to Madison, University of Minnesota, and my dad had graduated from Arizona State. And we had taken a family trip. I think it was my junior or senior year of high school and we had toured the campus. And I’m like, “oh, this is like a resort. This would be cool to go to.” I applied and got admitted to all of them. And then it was time for the review of my transcript. And Minnesota at the time were on quarters, so semesters didn't translate very well, and I’d be fairly far behind. Madison required some additional classes, and I was like going “ehhh.” Actually, it was Arizona State that had the best transfer. My credits transferred the most, I would be the least behind if you’d say. So I decided, “hey, I'm going.” And I remember that summer before I went like, “wow, I’m having fun with my friends at Summerfest. We’re going to these concerts. We’re hanging out.” I just remembered like, “wow okay, this chapter is ending, a new one is beginning.” So, in August I loaded up my ‘76 Ford Granada that I got when my grandfather had died and drove alone all the way to Arizona. This was before GPS, before cell phones. I remember I wrote down on index cards which highways I was supposed to turn at. I don’t know how I got there. I did. And again, thinking about that was back when the speed limit was 55 [MPH] as well, so it was a long trip. And got down there and Arizona State was very different. Obviously, a big campus but also a lot of wealth from especially kind of the California two-year colleges that were feeding in. I remember the parking lot had a lot of BMWs and Porsches and a lot of wealth. And I remember going down there going “oh gosh, this isn’t like UWL.” And I was expecting to be, like where like I was going to be active in the residence hall, I was going to know all these people. I would walk to class and say be able to “hi” to 30 people, 40 people, know people in my class, and I got down there it was so isolating. The one good thing was I started working in the Admissions Office and made some connections there. But I was also dating someone back in La Crosse, and I remember [thinking], “oh, why did we start dating before I left?” Maybe some students can relate to that. But part way through the semester, I remember going, “I don’t know if this is right for me.” I talked with my parents and I said, “I want to fly back to La Crosse and visit friends.” They said, “do you think that is a good idea?” and I said, “I need it.” So I flew back. And I remember I flew into Rochester, said “hi” to my parents for 5 minutes, and then booked it over to La Crosse. I had friends who still lived in Wentz [Hall] and they had a big “Welcome Home Troy” sign. The girl I was dating—or the woman I was dating—she lived off-campus at that time, we had such a good connection. And at that point, down in Arizona State it was, Business being taught like a big university would, it is cutthroat, it is dog-eat-dog and I kind of started realizing “I don’t think this is what I want.” And I had an impactful professor here, Jim Parker, who I mentioned earlier. And I just thought he had opened my eyes to a whole different view of history. And I thought “oh, if I can come back and do History and teaching with it, this would be great.” Kind of forgot that Social Studies teachers were a dime a dozen back in the [19]80s, so the job prospects weren’t good. But anyways, I came and met with Lois Wirkus in the College of Education and figured out that I could come back. It was going to take me a total of five years to get done, but I talked with my parents and said, “you know, I’m just not happy down here” [at Arizona State] and they said, “we’ll support you if you wanna come back.” It was also cheaper to go to La Crosse than it was Arizona State. So after one semester, I transferred back. And you know, it’s kind of like I think if I would have stayed, I would’ve given myself more opportunity to acclimate to Arizona, maybe had a little bit more confidence in my abilities, I think “Oh my god, where would my life be right now?” Now, I’m extremely happy where I am, and it was the decision that was right. But, and [I] don’t regret it. But I also think like “where would my trajectory be”? I will guarantee you I would not be sitting as Director of Parking Services at UWL if I would have stayed at Arizona for the extra semester or two. And then came back, talked to my good buddies who I lived in Wentz [Hall with]. They had stayed a third year, which wasn’t good, they were getting in trouble in the hall. And so when I came back… making the decision in like November, coming back, having to find an off-campus apartment…but Ted and Loren said, “yeah, we need to get out.” I said, “will they let you out?” “Oh, they’re encouraging us to get out.” [laughs] So we went and got a place just down on Sixteenth and King [Streets], the house isn’t there anymore. But that started my off-campus experience. And coming back and going for History and Broadfield Social Studies so I could teach.